Love is NOT all you need.

Somewhat random thought for the day...and forgive me if I sound like a relationship know-it-all...that's not my intention...I just really feel strongly about what it means to love someone. And I feel like I have a pretty good viewpoint since I had to get through some pretty terrible and other mediocre relationships to get where I am today (not at all saying that I didn't play a large hand in why those relationships failed) 

But I just want to say that love isn't all you need. You need more. Way more. 

These memes make me insane:

They're crap. Just plain crap. 

Sure, things go wrong. People disagree and they argue. Someone may lose a job or someone close may die and that might put a strain on your relationship. But I am here to tell you, if the "thing" that is ripping you apart from your significant other is something that one of you *did* or is still *doing*...then your relationship is over. You may not want to admit it. And it may take months, years, or even decades before it happens...but I can assure you, it will. And even if you somehow manage to pull together and grow old together, I can tell you it will not likely be a healthy scenario for either of you. 

Sure, people make mistakes. We all do. Cory put my favorite J Crew cardigan in the dryer last year and I still feel a little upset when I think about it. But did Cory cheat on me? Has Cory ever lied to me? Have I ever done anything to make his trust lessen in me? The answer to all of that is NO. 

And do you know why that is? It's not some crappy line about how much we love each other. No. Love is easy. Anyone can claim to love someone. But it's what you do to the people that matter that counts. 

It's because we LIKE each other. Genuinely. We care about each other. We put the needs of the other person and the relationship before our own. And it honestly should not be that hard to do. If it is, then you have problems. It should not take effort to make something work. It either works or it doesn't. 

Which brings me to this load of crap: 

Again...NO. Not accurate. 

Are there days when I am (likely premenstrual) cranky and everything he says just rubs me wrong? OH YEAH. Are there times when we can't figure out W.T.F. the other one is trying to explain? Yes. Are there times when we disagree over something dumb? Of course! 

But that's not work. It's still pretty easy. Because even though we disagree, we still respect each other...every minute of every day. We have never called each other names, purposefully hurt each other, or put each other down. We talk about our viewpoints, and if we never see eye to eye, then so be it. 

You are allowed to terminate a toxic relationship. It doesn't matter if it's with your husband, your mom, your neighbor...you can say goodbye to that person. You owe that to yourself. You owe yourself happiness. If that person brings you down, if they are physically or mentally abusive...for the love of GOD, leave. Especially if you have children. 

 I stopped talking to my mom years ago...but I have acquired a few "mothers" along the way that have shaped me, and I can't thank them enough for that. You will find people that love you, care for you, and choose to respect you. There is literally no need in staying in a never-ending circle of...well...crap. 

And there is a Cory out there for everyone. As long as you don't settle on anything less, you will find your Cory. I am living proof of that.