Bahumbug.

I am so mad.
At so many people.
I just want to scream.
Literally. Scream. Until I cry. And then sleep.
Everyone is ridiculous.
Why am I always the one getting shit on??
In every scenario. I am the one with the poor outcome.
If you can't describe an item, don't sell it on Ebay.
If you can't be nice to your friends, then you shouldn't be allowed to have any.
If you can't pay someone to answer the phone so I can talk to a HUMAN...then don't run a mulitmillion dollar business.
If you don't have a big enough heart to give things to people, then you shouldn't have big enough hands to take from people.
And if you don't care about other peoples' feelings...then....well, then shame on you.

I am so close to just...saying all the things that I really wanna say.
So close that it's scary.

UUUUUGHHH!!

A star, a star dancing in the night

I read somewhere that the night has to be dark... so the stars can really shine.
I hope that's true.
I hope it's not dark because...well, just because.
Maybe there was some reasoning.
Who knows.

Tis the season.

Got my ugly sweaters for the party this weekend.
Got thems cheeeeap.. surprise.
Harvey is doing well...aside from when he eats your feet.
Excited for Christmas. Can't wait to give out some gifts.
Won the football pool at work...again. Suck it.
My windows are now tinted... for when I'm ridin' dirty.

My wedding is in 8 months. Eek!

P.S. You can't act like my mom now. You are my mother...but you were never my mom. Moms want what's best for their kids. Moms protect their kids. Moms would die to make their kids happy. I sure wish you were a mom. I'd give anything to have one.

Baby, it's cold outside.

Christmas is almost here...and I am crazy excited.
Although, I could do without this weather.

Pretty sure I know what I want for Christmas...other than all the stuff Cory already got me...
http://www.groupon.com/deals/kc-dental-group
It's spendy...but I need it before the wedding.
Mama's teef need a makeover.
Maybe I could just wait for my dental diva (Amber) to hook it up??
Btw, Congrats Mama...I knew you could do it. I never doubted you. You are such a bright young lady.

This year was Cory and I's first experience with Black Friday.
I usually just wake up early for VS.
But this year, we pulled an all-nighter
Christmas shopping: check.

Tonight, going over to beezy's house... for a little crafty fun.
Always a favorite.

Boots without the fur-
Ween

Harvey

Cory and I drove a million miles to get a dog.
We got him...and he is stinking cute.
And even more awnry.
He doesn't replace Ulysses. Not at all.
That's not possible.
But I figured a good way to let Ulysses know how much we love him, is to give another dog a chance to have the life Uly did...but, hopefully...a longer life.
You would love Harvey. He has the same butt/tail wag that you have.
You guys would be such good friends.

I still miss you, Ulysses. But I am coping. We are...trying to keep moving along.

All That Remains

Ulysses,
Got a call from the vet today. Your remains are ready for me to pick up. It breaks my heart. Even though I know you are gone, I hate to be reminded. It hurts my heart in a way that I cannot explain to you. I wish I could, though. I wish you could know how much I continue to miss you everyday.
Dad and I are ok...well, if I can say that much... we are...well, we are coping. As best we can. Which isn't every well. The house is empty... and quiet. Nothing is the same without you, puppy. Nothing feels right.
While I am writing this, I want to let  you know that I am so sorry for ever doubting that you can be in heaven. I always knew that if dogs got to go there, you would be more than qualified...I was just unsure if heaven was something that humans were able to go to...but animals went to a different place.
Now that I understand (thanks to reading waaaay too many things on the internet)...the only thing I have left to pray for is that our heavens are the same place...and that I will get your sloppy kisses all over my face again someday.
I hope you are doing ok. And I hope you are feeling better now.
I love you, boy.
Love, Mom

I sent you boats.

Could it be, Ulysses?
Did you somehow know what was going on that day? And were your last kisses on our faces a way of telling me that it was all right??
Does God answer my prayers everyday when I beg him to let me know that you are ok... and that our time together isn't permantly over...but just on hold?
Do dogs go to heaven?
If I could just know for sure they do...because then I could be sure that's where you are.

I miss you every minute of everyday.
I love you.

Mom and Dad love you.

Your Dad has always told me that I have a way with words. That I could write about anything and make it sound so meaningful. I don't know if that's true. Especially now, on the day following your death. But I am going to give it a shot. Because I tend to feel a little better when I can let it all out... and I need to say a few things to you...well, maybe more than just a few.

My Dearest Ulysses,
      Your absence in just the past day has been more than we can stand. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think of you. Every single thing that we do reminds us of you. And reminds us of the pain we feel now that you are no longer here with us.
      I woke up today, and instantly thought of you. Dad and I watched ESPN, the way he normally did with you. I took a shower, with the door open...and still looked to the door as if you would suddenly be there. I did my makeup...and that was the hardest part. I sat in front of that mirror and cried. I have been so used to you standing between me and the mirror...making it nearly impossible to do my makeup. But not today. Today, I did my makeup in record time...and ruined it as I went along. My makeup is no match for the tears I cry for you. I walked to the front door...paused, and looked up the stairs...wishing I could still give you our morning "goodbye" kisses.
      I drove to work today in absolute silence. No music. Nothing. Just me and my thoughts of you. The memories I have of you are some of my favorites. I loved the day we brought you home. You were so skinny and seemed so sad. You had marks from where it looked like someone had burned or cut you. It makes me sick to imagine someone hurting you. I thought of the day you completely destroyed the computer room. Literally, you tore it all to pieces. I forgive you for that day...and I hope you can forgive me for being mad at you. I know you never meant to hurt me. Even as terrible as that day was...it makes me smile. You were so stinking ornery that it was adorable. So many other  memories flood me...and I could write about them all afternoon...but there's so much I want to say.
      I was telling your Dad today that it was such a pleasure knowing you. Holding you. Kissing you and most of all, hugging you. You have brightened my life in such a significant way that it is almost unmatched. Your extraordinary soul has given me a reason to hope. I hope that I can be as wonderful as you. I hope I can touch someone's life in the manner  you have touched ours. I hope that you are right where you belong, I hope that you are in heaven and you are free. You are free to run, play and love the way that we know you can. I hope you can see us, I hope you can hug us...even if we don't know you are doing it. 
      I miss you so much that it literally hurts. It hurts in my chest...it hurts in my brain...and it hurts in my eyes. It hurts all over. Every part of my daily life now pains me. Every part of daily life now feels incomplete. You completed us. And even though you are gone, you will continue to be a part of our lives...even if only in memories and in dreams.
      Please understand why it all happened the way it did. Please know that we would've given anything if it meant you could have the longest, happiest life possible. And please know that I would've given anything...for just one more day. Even though it would've only prolonged the inevitable...I still wish it were an option. I wish you were right by me today. Right now, as I riddle the keyboard with my tears, I wish I could hear your random heavy sighs...they are really the only thing that would provide some comfort right now.
     I have prayed to God more in the past 24 hours than I have in months combined. I pray that you are happy. That you are well.  That you are giving all the people in heaven the same hugs you gave us. And I pray that you can feel our love. I pray that you will forgive me... for not knowing the cure. I pray that you will continue to love me until I can see you again. And I pray most of all that seeing you some day is an option. If there was ever something I needed, it was to know that yesterday wasn't the last time I could hold you.
     We love you so much. And we will continue to love you everyday for the rest of our lives. People say the pain will get better...and I believe that....but please know that even after the pain has subsided, you will forever be in our hearts.
     Goodbye, Good Boy. I hope to see you.
     I love you,
            Mom

Grape Slush

I love Sonic.
I love happy hour.
I love grape slushes.
I love my fiance.
And I miss you.

To my Good Boy:

You have no idea how important you are to me.
You really don't. I've said it a million times.
Dad and I try so hard to let you know what you mean to us...but there's that whole human/dog communication barrier.
If there were some way I could just speak dog... or let you inside my brain...I would probably feel better about all this. Maybe I would feel more comfortable if I could know that you believed me.
If you could just know that I would do anything to avoid this.
That Dad and I tried everything.
Everything.
That we love you no matter what happens.
No matter what lies ahead.
No matter what happened in the past.
We have been so lucky to have known you.
So lucky to have been hugged by you.
And so lucky to listen to you fart all day. :)
And for God's sake...smell you fart all day.
Ulysses, you are the best dog I could ever ask for. You have made our hearts whole. You have been such an important part of our lives. And we can't thank you enough for all the great memories.
Please believe me when I say that saying goodbye to you will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole life. And please believe me when I say that I would give anything to change the circumstances.
I hope...so much...that God or someone in heaven will you read you this blog. I hope you understand English. And you can feel how much Dad and I love you.

You will always be our good boy. Always.
Nothing will change that.

I love you, Stinker.

Shabby Chic? Meh.

Sooo...I'm loving making all this stuff for the house.
Love it.
I love going to estate/garage sales and finding good stuff.
I've been a spray-paint princess.
Well, today...I am working on the newest addition to our bedroom.
A steal.
A cool, vintage, round frame I found at an estate sale.
There I was...la la la la laaaa...spray-painting away.
All done.
So I start bringing the freshly painted masterpiece inside.
Enter: gust of wind and tiny leaves.
That attach themselves to the glorious frame.
Wah wahhh.
No more shabby chic in fall.
Epic Fail.

Go Chiefs.

Butterfly Effect

To this Stacey woman.
The one who wrecked into my fiance on Tuesday morning.
You have no idea how much you effect people that you don't even know.
Whatever you were doing that morning...
Texting, applying makeup, looking for something...
Whatever it was that made you not pay attention to the road.
The HIGHWAY.
It changed more than just the front of your car.
It changed my fiance's face...even if only temporarily.
It changed the way he feels about driving.
It changed his car.
It changed our financial status...
Just a little.
It changed MY car, even.
So...was it worth it? Whatever you were doing...was that worth the way I feel today?
I am pissed today.
And I blame you.
And your lack of common sense.

I feel like I am having one of the worst months ever.
Again.
Gah.

Happy HalloWEEN?

Hey.
So I am pretty pissed.
At a lot of people.
You. For instance.
I blame you.
If you had just just been normal, and invited me to your house, this post woudn't be happening.
I would just be spending time with you and the people I love.
But no.
Instead...I'm crying.
And you.
You were supposed to hang out with me.
Tonight.
But no.
I don't know what I was thinking.
You never call me.
Or TEXT me.
Or do anything you say you will do.
Soooo I guess I blame myself for this one.
Stupid me.
And you.
You can GFY.
I know I am not pretty.
I know I am pale.
I know i shouldn't be happy with the way I look.
I FUCKING KNOW!!
But thanks for saying it out loud.
You can all kiss my pale, fat ass.
And you...
thanks for loving me even though I don't love myself.

Ween feels hollow.
Good riddance.

:)

http://mcprincess722.xanga.com/268575182/item/

This is all so crazy.
I can't believe I get to marry you.
And I couldn't be happier.

I love you more than I can explain, bug.

Our good boy.

Took Ulysses to the vet today.
I felt guilty leaving him there.
But he's home now.
They got 2.5 liters of fluid off him.
He looks better.
But sleepy.
Maybe now people will stop acting like I don't take care of my puppy.
Maybe they'll stop gasping when they see him look so sick.
Maybe they will quit asking what is wrong with him.
Maybe they will quit trying to tell me what I should be doing.
Lol...I doubt that.
I love my dog. He goes to the vet more than you see your doctor.

So get off his big, black balls.

And mine.

But either way...
Welcome Home, Ulysses.
Mom and Dad missed you today.

Always Be My Baby.

Isn't is so wierd that that's our song??
I mean I get it...because the whole thing about it never ending...in Mariah's head.
But its about a boy and a girl.
And he doesn't want Mariah anymore. So she goes and on and on about how she will never let go.
But niether of us have EVER let go.
We may have gotten lost along the way, but we have never stopped being the very best of friends.
Friends like you are hard to find.
And I should thank God more often for you.
My best friends.
The ones that are always there. Always supportive.

You will always be my baby.
Even when we are old. And gray.
And we are roomies at the nursing home.
I will never be able to tell you enough how much your friendship has helped me.
Probably even saved me.

You'll always be a part of me...I'm part of you indefinately.

Team Bride

Today, I went with Bailey and her family to look at some wedding dresses.
Despite terrible service at the salon, we managed to snag a gorgeous dress for a helluva deal.

And we all got choked up when Mama Daphne announced that she would love to buy the dress for BaileyBoo.

Seriously had to hold back tears. Not only am I incredibly happy for Bailey, but it made me sad to see the things in life that I miss out on. Like a mom...who cries when I find that perfect dress.
Oh well, I guess. The show must continue.

Congrats, Bailey. You looked great in that dress. (I won't post pics, don't wanna spoil anything!!)

It's four o'clock in the morning.

I have become that irritable, cynical, grouchy nurse that I always told myself I didn't want to be.
To the poor night shift charge nurse that I just got ugly with; I am so sorry.
I feel like the apology I gave you wasn't enough...and even though you will never read this...I still want to say I am so very sorry. I hope you have a good remainder of your shift.

Hello, burnout??

I have a doctors appointment on Thursday morning.
Thank God.
I need a change.
And some sleep.

I need a vacation

I'm so tired. All I want to do is sleep.
I don't know if it's the boot camp, the insomnia or the overflowing brain that is causing the most trouble at night.
But I don't like it.
I feel like there is no time.
For anything I want to do.
And it sucks that I have to save all my vacation time for my honeymoon next year.
Because I think I need a few days off.
Hello, burnout.

Meh,
Ween

Mad World

When did we all become such terrible people??
Who started this trend?
People killing people. Ripping people off. Fighting over $2 totes.
I can't believe this is what we have become.
And it makes me sad.
And terrified.
I almost feel bad for wanting to have kids.
For wanting them to be born into this world.
It's unfair to them.
And I'm saying all this, but I can't imagine how much worse it will be when they are my age.
Sometimes, I really just want to give up on the human race.
Sometimes- meaning right now.

I give up.

One year down, one to go!

Tomorrow, Cory and I will be engaged for one year!
And one year from today, he will be my husband.
I love that my best friend even knew how important to day was.
There's a lot of reasons you are the best friend anyone could ask for.
I'm so tired.
But I've only got 365 days to get my ducks in a row...and my ass in a dress.
So, here I go.

Relieved.

I like my life better with my people in it.
All my people.
You know who you are.
:)

What a stupid lamb.

I feel like I'm changing.
So much is different.
I'm not even sure its visible to the naked eye.
I'm sure most of it isn't.
My hair is the same, I look the same.
But I'm different.
I'm changed.
I love Twilight.
You read that right, I love Twilight.
I never thought I would say that or type it.
But I read the books everyday.
I read a lot now.
I'm growing up, though. Believe it or not.
I have learned a little about what...and who is important.

Oh, and I'm living in the future. Just so you know, I'm in 2011.
-Chyleina

Ga Ga Rahh Rahh AHHH

Lady Gaga last night.
Amber and I got all dolled up.
Well, we looked like tramps, lol
But there were definately alot more skanks there.
We had nothing on some of those bitches.

Gaga gave an amazing show.
I can't imagine a better concert.
I somehow love her more than I ever did before.

Her outfits and outrageous comments.
She is the shit.
And I can't thank Cory enough for surprising me with the tickets to her show.
She rocked Kansas City, mother fuckerrrrrs! Lol.

That's Money, Honey

Stoked for tonight!
Lady Gaga is in KC right now...
And I get to see her tonight.
With my beez.
I love my life.
And I have the best people in it.
-Little Monster

Think Bigg

Mini bachelorette party on Friday night.

It was a hoot.

Mama Vicki and my very best friends.

We looked hot.

Went to the Piano Bar.

Drank. Sang. Danced all night.

I don't remember everything.

I think that was because of the Tequila.

I do remember  telling the girls how much I loved them on the way home..

Aaaaand trying to fight some chick in the parking lot...

Oh dear.

Thanks again for going, ladies.

You all mean the world to me.

-Ween

EEEEE!!!!

So...
Last night Cory and I met with the folks at Kennedy's Jewelers in Blue Springs. We bought my wedding bands! They are being custom made as you read this. Here's an idea of what it will look like :

But you have to imagine all the blue as diamonds. :)

Tomorrow night is the Bridal Bash at the Piano Bar. I'm so excited!! Get to hang out with (some :)) of my favorite people!
Saturday I get to spend the whole day with my babe!!
Sunday is our food tasting at the venue!
Monday the new nurse starts at work, and she's an old friend of mine, so I am stoked!
Tuesday I have a half day at work...
and here's the best part:
I. am. going to see. Lady Gaga. in concert. on Tuesday night! My babe bought tickets for Amber and I!!  :) now I just gotta find the most ridiculous outfit!!
And pretttty sure beezy can put a bow in my hair...Lady Gaga will demonstrate:

thanks babe. you are the best. and I am the luckiest.

Fit. Pale. And ready.

400 days til the wedding.
P90X came today.
Should be plenty of time to shed this muffin top.
Cancelled the gym memberships, but we still have 2 months to use it.
Going to cancel my tanning membership today.
Kinda sad.
I've been going for 6 years!
They know me by name! lol
Buuuut, we don't need skin cancer, do we?
Plus, we need the money.
Finished Nick's room last night.
Here is the design we put on his wall :

He liked it, he said.

Mama Vicki text me to see about an OTP trip this evening. Hope we go. But I gotta pay the photographer!

Lovin life..

Another Royals game.

We went out with Pops last night.
We got pizza from Funhouse.
First time.
Classy.
Then we went to the Royals game...
It rained the whole time.
And we got stomped on.
We weren't on the kiss cam this time..
but we love Pops.

Painting Nick's room tonight.
I will post a pic of the progress.
:)

Cotton Candy

Mama Vicki took Cory and I to the Royals game last night.
I think she only wanted to go for the cotton candy. :)
I sat next to a crude man.
He was a loud, peanut eating, Blue Jays fan.
Eek.
Cory and I were on the kiss cam...again. :)

I love my life.

Easy as cake.

Tonight is going to be fun.
Tasting some wedding cake!! :)
I can't believe how excited Cory is for it.
And today should be a good day.
Seeing some patients at their homes..should go by quick.
Which is good, because I am so sleepy.
I'm pretty much always sleepy though.



Is it September 14th yet?

Who would've thought?

I can't believe this is happening.
One of the people I care most about in this whole world isn't even talking to me.
I don't get it.
I thought I was making the right choices.
I put sooo much thought into it.
It has nothing to do with appearances or who I like more.
I was trying to make it easier on everyone.
I was trying to get everyone I love involved...somehow..
My wedding, as it turns out, has nothing to do with me.
I have no choices.
This wedding is for everyone else.
Crazy.
I am seriously considering cancelling this whole thing and marrying Cory in a courthouse.
Seriously.

Sittin, waitin, wishin.

At work. Another day, another dollar.
I don't want to wait until August of 2011 to marry you.
423 days?
It's not fair.
Why can't we just come across a million dollars?
We deserve it, I think.

Happy (late) Birthday to my sister Tilan.
Happy (early) Birthday to my old buddy John Bridges. Miss you!

And speaking of birthdays... my party was pretty fun.
Mama Vicki's pool is sure to be a good time.
And kegs help too.
Lots of friends... but only a couple were really my friends.
It seems that the old saying was true, friends will come and friends will go.

Wants.

Just read Ashley's blog about wants. My curiosity was piqued.
Here's what I want...

I want to marry Cory, sooner rather than later. I want to pay my house off. I want those Fergie shoes, baaaad. (see post "another year older") I want a raise. I want my dog to get better. I want him to take his medicine that I pay a bunch of money for. I want my car to be fixed. I want shorter arm hair. I want some of my old friends to get a grip. I want all my best friends to have everything they want. I want to tell my Father just how much his absence ruined me. I want 120 silk yellow fans. I want new nail polish (but that's a given). I want it to be 1630 already so I can go home! I want an alignment. I want to help animals....all animals. I want a lot of people to come to my birthday party next weekend! I want to shampoo every square inch of my carpet. I want babies. I want a shop-vac. I want to be naturally tan. I want a new cell phone, that actually works. I want sushi, now.

I was supposed to do that for 15 minutes...but I forgot to time myself. Oops. Oh well...that was fun.

I think someday I will get the courage to write the blog that I really want to write.
Maybe.

Moms...and things like Moms.

Today I went to get my hair done. I waited on a sofa and looked at the all the people there. I watched them all....well, one lady in particular. She was a bit older... looked tired, but excited.. At first, the stylist was curling her hair in these disgusting spiral curls....like the really tight curls... like Shirley Temple. And I couldn't help but judge the 'do in my head. But as time went on... and the stylist started pinning her hair up in this pretty little updo. And it was cute.

Of course, they chatted. I think that's a rule when you get your hair done. You gotta chit chat. The customer was talking about her daughter, she was getting married today. And the Mother seemed so excited about her dress, her hair, the event, and the love that her daughter had been fortunate enough to land.

I got to thinking about Moms. My moms.

There's the one that gave birth to me. The one that I don't talk to. Ever. Because she may be my "Mother" but she is nothing at all like a Mom. Yeah, she was there for my first 16 birthdays... and yeah she bought me food and gave me a place to stay in my youth. But there is no way to remove the damage she has done to me and my sisters. She gave me contracture scars. The deep ones.

Then there's my step mom. Well, I guess she's not going to be that for much longer. Just met her a couple years back. She bought me a couple presents in the time I've known her. But I can honestly say that I never looked at her like a Mom. She may have been the closest thing I had to a Mom for a short time, but I am glad that time has ended.

There's Mama Cheryl. One of the best Moms I have ever known. She is the shit. And that's no over exaggeration. She has been a great Mom for the past...ohhhh....8 years. And she was never obligated to be so wonderful. She's just one of those good people that you are lucky enough to know. I wish she was the person who raised me. I can only imagine how different things would have been. For the better, of course.

And soon, I will have a new Mom. Well, I guess married or not, she is my Mom. I would do anything for her. And that's strange because I have only been close to her for about 2 years now. There are so many things to love about her. Like.. her dancing skillz, her pretty face, her knowledge, her dedication to her children. I can only hope that I can be a Mom like her someday. That my sons will do anything for me, even when they're older and I just need help lifting something.

I was a little bummed when thinking about all this. It sucks that two of those Moms won't be at my wedding. But the important ones will be. And even though the woman who "raised me" won't even know when and where I will become Cory's wife, I am so excited to see Vicki's dress...and her hair.

Oh, and by the way....my hair looks awesome. :)

Another year older.

I'm getting old.
In my younger years, I wished for a trampoline, or a Little Mermaid doll, or anything pink.
Now, I don't even like pink too much.
I prefer purple. Or yellow. Or nude. Or black. Or brown. Or blue. Just about anything but pink.

In case you are interested... my birthday wish list consists of the following:
http://www.amazon.com/Fergie-Womens-Safra-Dress-Pump/dp/B002PJ5A7C
Size 7.5 in the blue satin.
I need these heels. Need.

That is all.

Off-brand Ravioli

When we were little, we were all told to "choose your battles".
"Don't sweat the small stuff. "
When we grow up... something happens.
We all the sudden feel the need to just be right.
No matter what the cost... even if it means arguing with someone you love...

over something completely stupid.

The fight could last for a long time...
Long after we have forgotten what we were fighting for.
I got to thinking this morning...
that fighting about who is "right" is just silly in our case...
because you and I are what's right.
We are right together.
Nothing else matters.
Not to say we won't have some ridiculous fight again, eventually.
Because every couple does.
But I will try my best to stop being so damn stubborn.
I ruh rou.

Snowflakes that fall on my nose and eyelashes...

These are a few of my favorite things...

 

Ahhhh Sake Sake

Tuesday was a blast.
Went to the scrub shop.
Saw Mama Thomas @ RHofL.
Gordman's- didn't buy anything. Gotta "save money"
Sang ever so loudly in the car.
Ashleigh and I sound just like Carrie Underwood.
"Maybe next time he'll think before heeeee cheeeats"
Downtown for some sake bombs.
Singing continues.
"Aaaaaand breeeeeathe. Just breeeathe."
Windows down. Perfect day.
Headed to El Maguey for a huuuuuge Margarita.
Brain Freeze.
Along came Stew.
Then I had to poop.
Now that was a story.
Tequilla shots, presented by Stew.
Off to Hooters.
Video blackjack with a new friend.
Stole a Corona sign.
Headed home.
Stop at a garage sale. At 11p.m.
And we are waaaasted, btw.
Home. Told Cory about poop. Literally.
Fell asleep with the love of my life.
What more could a girl ask for??
I love my life.
I love my friends.
I love my family.
I love you.

The Pursuit

The Pursuit of Happiness - It's interesting that he felt like this was just as important as life and liberty. He didn't mention Coach purses or a brand new car. Just the necessities. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness; whatever that may mean for you. Whether it's great friends, cash money or a pet turtle. Doesn't matter.
You want it, pursue it.

The Pursuit of Happyness - It's interesting that you found that. After all these years... and after we have gone our separate ways, you find that. I don't know why that strikes me, but it does. You are out with friends, having a great time, pursuing happiness...and the whole time that stub is in your pocket. Weird.
I'm happy and you're happy.

Jefferson was on to something.

Not you, Lysses.

I love you, Ulysses. More than you will ever know.
I would let you devour every thread of my silly wedding dress, if it meant I got to keep you.
I am going to spend every moment I can with you.
And you are going to eat whatever you want. 
You can do the flappy face all day, everyday.
Just don't go.
You're too young, and we love you far too much.
You are the best pet anyone could ask for.
As terrible as it is, it seems so appropriate that your heart is too big.
I guess if there was any good way to die, it would be at home, with your family, and a huge heart.
I love you.

Who's mama's good boyyyy?? HUH? Who's the good boy?

No sleep 'til...

Our good boy is sick.  He's been keeping us up all night, hacking and puking.

Going to the doc in the AM.

No food after nine tonight. No balls after two tomorrow.

Royal's Home Opener today.

Wish we could've been there this year.

Last year was a blast.

All I want to do is marry you. And plan our wedding.

I could stay up all night working out the deets.

Literally, all night.

I love you. But I don't love your past.

And it keeps me up at night sometimes.

Ween

Little Miss Muffin...Top.

Spring is here.
You gotta know.
You gotta feel it.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS FEEL IIIIT!
I miss Bernie Mac.
I don't miss snow.
I'm ready for the pool and friends in the sun.
Well, I will be ready.
After I go to the gym...everyday. Ha.
I'm excited for Wine Wednesday on the deck.
I need to stain my deck.
And set up the patio furniture.
I love my fiance.
And even though March has been terrible to me,
I love my life.
Tomorrow is April... and I can FEEL IIIIT!

Ween

Merging.

People merge everyday. Every single day. They merge for so many reasons; convenience, necessity, preference, whatever.

You put your turn signal on, you look, you merge. Supposed to be easy. But sometimes you get hit from behind. That's when all those fancy police terms come into play; "failure to yield", "vision obscured", "congestion ahead", "too fast for conditions" and so on...

When you get rear ended, its like a bomb going off behind your head. You never saw it coming, you're shaken up, and all you can hear is a buzzing noise. You have no idea what the back of your car looks like, if it's even there at all. The thought of "what the hell just happened and what do I do now?" takes over. The other driver should get out and ask you if you're ok, because that's what normal humans would do...but sometimes, they just keep going.

This is more than just highway talk. It's about life in general. We merge everyday. Sometimes we don't have a choice, we merge, because we have to. Relationships end, so we change lanes. we change lanes to keep moving; keep moving forward. When that relationship ends, maybe we should have someone from the outside write a police report...cite the driver that didn't yield to the right of way, or who followed too closely, or the one that is just "at fault". I'm sure it wouldn't matter to the offender, the "at fault", they would lie...place blame on the other driver, or not even stop to take responsibility at all.

People merge into relationships too. We merge into marriage. We look, usually way more than once, we put on that trusted signal, and we merge. We get into the fast lane. Put the pedal to the metal. We hope that traffic doesn't brake. We watch the mirrors. We stay out of people's blind spots. We wear our seatbelts, just in case. We arrive alive.

Be a safe driver.